


The Pout: Sand

by DSMystery



Series: ABG Therapy Troopers [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabbles, I'm gonna make it a thing, The Pout, emotional breakdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:00:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29526762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DSMystery/pseuds/DSMystery
Summary: Vader won’t cry over this one, he’s been getting better, in fact, in this one he has his helmet off so ABG get the “full force” of him pouting. (This is not the full force of it, Obi-Wan could have warned them, Anakin’s pouting is lethal.)
Series: ABG Therapy Troopers [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687360
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	The Pout: Sand

“It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.”

Alfred made a strangled sound as he choked on thin air, half dying cat and half mourning whale. Of all the things, of all the possibilities or events or-

“I- Sir. Lord Vader… Sir. What?” Oh good, Alfred wasn’t the only one. Benny was losing it too. If Alfred was capable of picking his jaw up off the floor anytime soon he would have seen that George was literally on his knees, head in his hands. Lord Vader looked at them with a blank face though Alfred, who had yet to look away, noticed a gleam in his eye. Was that amusement? Are we being mocked? Is Lord Vader even capable-

“Troopers, you all look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Lord Vader’s voice, his real unaltered voice, because what the kriff, was clear and strong, yet soft and unassuming. Alfred was going to need to go to the medbay after this to get treated for whiplash.

“It’s just uh- well uh…” Benny was trying to form words. Good, because the rest of them, all twenty stormtroopers standing in a half moon around their Lord, were still speechless. 

“What? Thought I was deformed? Burned? Horribly mutilated? It would track, the full bodysuit and the helmet and the voice modulator, of course.”

“Why the kark is Lord Vader hot?” George suddenly wailed. And- oh no, oh no, Alfred thought with dread because Lord Vader’s carefully blank face was no longer blank. What was that face, Alfred did not like it. Was that a pout? On the face of the second most powerful man in the entirety of the galaxy? An actual pout. Benny collapsed onto his knees next to him. The other troopers weren’t faring much better. Alfred felt weak in the knees.

“Frankly… I’m almost offended.” Lord Vader spoke, the damnable pout still on his face, why was it still on his face, how was it so lethal, it’s like puppy eyes yet worse because he’s not even asking for anything, Alfred thought desperately. “I was voted the sexiest Jedi three times in my lifetime you know. I even beat…” Here their Lord trailed off, face going carefully blank again before he visibly shook off whatever memory had taken hold of him. The pout returned. “Anyway, we should continue moving.” He turned to look off into the distance, the miles and miles upon sand making Lord Vader wrinkle his nose in distaste.

“Yes… of course Lord Vader.” Alfred finally spoke. His voice was unsteady. He felt unsteady. “Um, but would you mind…” He gestured helplessly at the helmet. Lord Vader looked down at the black bucket in his hands.

“Mind what?” He asked, looking back up at Alfred with an arched brow. The scar that bisected the eye there was awful. It didn’t detract from his attractiveness at all. Alfred hated Lord Vader’s face. 

“Mind putting your helmet back on Sir? Please?” 

“Hmm… very well. Wouldn’t want to get sand in my hair after all.” He finally relented. Alfred’s eyes flicked to his hair. Shoulder length. Slightly curly. Definitely too much. The helmet was finally back in place and The Pout was gone. It was like a spell broke. As one, the stormtroopers staggered to their feet, shaking their heads. Alfred let out the faintest sigh of relief. Clapping a hand on the shoulders of Benny and George, he set off after Lord Vader who was already moving on ahead, walking as if the sand had personally offended him. Based on his description of it, as well as his many reactions throughout the time Alfred had known him, perhaps it had. And of course, all of this because George had the audacity to comment about how he hated the sand.


End file.
